Regret
by PeachyBookLover
Summary: My first fanfic! It's kinda sad, or at least that's what i'm going for lol I wrote this awhile ago so it's not that great but I love the idea of Henry realizing that he's been an a** to Katherine so this happened xD anyway I hope you like it!


**A/N this is my first fanfic and it's long but i hope you like it:) but if you review please do not say anything unkind i am sensitive:P**

Margaret glanced at Katherine with concern. The queen looked deathly pale and she shivered under the thin blanket

"Are you alright my lady?" She asked fearing for her queen's health.

Katherine smiled lightly," Of course not. I am fine, just a bit of a chill."

"Should I send for a physician?" Margaret frowned.

"You know that Henry has ordered that no physician would be allowed in here," Katherine reminded her, her smile turning more bitter.

"My lady I am sure he would make an exception. You look as if death will visit you at any moment!"

"Truly Margaret there is no need for a physician. There is no reason to worry," Katherine insisted.

Margaret reluctantly nodded. She could not say it aloud but she hated Henry. Hated him for what he had turned her beloved Queen Katherine into. Hated that he had turned his back on his wife and child for his selfish lust.. She could not believe anyone would treat such a kind compassionate woman like Katherine the way Henry had. He had thrown her away like trash because his "precious Anne" had demanded it. He was like a dog that jumped at his master's command. It made her sick. To throw his true wife away for nothing more than a mistress was disgusting. While at court she watched Henry prance Anne around and each night she watched Katherine's mask crumble as she cried.

Her attention shifted when she heard a low whimper. Katherine was thrashing restlessly on the bed crying out lightly every few seconds.

Rushing over she touched Katherine's back. "What is it my lady?"

Katherine's eyes snapped open and she struggled for a moment before recognizing Margaret.

Katherine braved a smile for Margaret's sake," Just a bad dream is all. Do not worry I am fine."

Despite what she had said Katherine was not fine. She had dreamed again of her Henry. They were sitting beneath a tree for a picnic and she had been happier than she had been in a long time. All of a sudden the scene changed and they were in a dark hall and there had been a faint light at the end of the hallway. The silhouette of Anne had been in the light calling out to Henry. Henry hurriedly ran to her shaking off Katherine's hands as she tried to stop him. She screamed his name and wept as her left her alone in the hall. She sat in the dark as he and the light had disappeared leaving her with nothing but the terrible sound of Anne's laughter. She had dreamed of a similar thing each day for the past few weeks. She could not shake the feeling that her time was short and she was all alone without her beloved Henry or Mary.

Ah Mary. Her beautiful daughter. She would give anything to see her again. It was cruel of Henry to prevent her from seeing her beloved daughter. The only happiness left in her life. She had prayed every moment of every day that Henry would allow her to see her Mary one more time. Surely Mary would have grown since she last saw her. Each time she saw Mary she seemed to have grown even more beautiful. Katherine was so proud her of her. Mary had turned into a compassionate loving woman. The last she had heard Henry had put Mary in a small house in the country with few attendants. She was saddened to see that Henry had now turned on Mary as well. The Harry she knew would never have even though of doing something so horrid to his little pearl. But Henry had changed. He was no longer her Harry but a hard cold man who would stop at nothing to have his way. Katherine grieved for the loss of her wonderful Harry who had always been so sweet and gentle with her. Her Harry who adored her and would do anything to please her.

"My lady did you hear me? I asked if you needed anything."

Katherine looked up at her caring lady in waiting Margaret, the only one Henry had allowed her.

" No Margaret but thank you. I believe I will sleep again for a bit my dear."

Katherine closed her eyes and hoped that she would dream of more happier times.

Later that evening Margaret awoke and immediately checked on Katherine. Her brow furrowed as she saw how ill Katherine seemed. She was even grayer than before and her skin was cold to the touch. She gently shook her to wake her and was very troubled when she did not wake.

"My lady wake up please. Queen Katherine wake up!" Margaret was now frantic and she rushed to the door calling the guards.

"Have his majesty informed that the queen is deathly ill and will not awaken. Now!" She commanded.

She ran back to her queen's side and continued to attempt to wake her. Finally Katherine's eyelashes swept up and she gave Margaret and groggy confused look.

"Oh my lady I am so glad you are awake I was so afraid," Margaret cried as tears formed in her eyes.

She was scared for Katherine. She was so ill her skin was translucent and you could see the veins in her arms. _Please be okay Katherine_ Margaret prayed that she would not die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwile Henry was sitting by the fireplace feeding Anne when a messenger softly knocked on the door.

" Who is it," Henry growled with irritation at being interrupted.

" Your majesty I have an urgent message regarding the dowager princess."

"Katherine? Go in boy tell me the message."

Henry was confused and a bit anxious when he heard it was Katherine. They would not have interrupted him if it wasn't important.

"I am told she is gravely ill and is in need of a physician," The boy replied a bit fearful at the king's reaction to the news.

Henry's eyes widened as he heard the news. Katherine was ill? He commanded the guards outside to saddle a horse and send for his daughter Mary. Anne's brows furrowed.

"Henry dear what are you doing? It's only Katherine. I am sure she is fine. She is probably doing this so you will worry and go to her. Stay with me," Anne pleaded.

"Anne you know I must go. If she is truly sick I cannot abandon her. She was my companion for twenty years darling. Besides I must go so that Mary will have someone to comfort her," Henry explained," I will be back soon my love do not fret."

He strode outside to his horse and mounted it rushing to get to Katherine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~When he arrived he saw Mary, who was much closer to Katherine, had already arrived.

"Father!" She dried as she rushed to him," I am scared. What is wrong with mother? Is she dying?"

Henry cradled her to his chest happy to see his daughter again even under such sad circumstances.

"I do not know what is wrong Mary, but I pray she is not dying."

He pushed open the door to Katherine's room with Mary still by his side. He was shocked by the sight that greeted him. Katherine, who had always been lively and animated, was a grayish pale and looked frail and weak nestled in the bed sheets. Mary burst into tears at the sight of her mother and broke away from Henry rushing to her mother.

" Mother, oh mother I was so worried," Mary sobbed into her mother's chest.

"Mary mi hija is it really you? Oh I am so happy to see you my love," Katherine said. She was now hugging her daughter as tight as she could and had joined Mary in crying.

"Katherine is that you? My god you look so sick," Henry whispered as though he could not believe it was Katherine on the bed.

"Henry is that you?" Katherine looked surprised at him being there.

Henry walked slowly to her side," Oh Katherine what have I done to you? You are so thin." Henry was horrified that he had done this to his Katherine.

Katherine's eyes turned a bit steely as she gazed at him. How could he be surprised when he ordered her to be here?

"Are you not pleased at this? I am dying. You now can have your wish. You will marry Anne and you will never have to see me again," Katherine snapped.

Mary gasped at her words and Henry froze in horror at the way she viewed him.

"Katherine how can you say that? You know I would never wish this on you!"

"Am I wrong than? You have thrown me in this dungeon and separated me from my Mary and you expect me to believe you did not intend this? Ha! Do not pretend Henry you are not happy at my being sick. You will probably go home to you whore and celebrate." Katherine's eyes blazed as she said this.

Henry swallowed at her harsh words. Was this cynical woman his Katherine?

"Katherine is that what you think? I am sorry that I have allowed you to believe this. No matter what you are still the mother of my child and I care for you deeply. You dying is not something to celebrate. "

Katherine gazed into his eyes and saw the truth of his words. She softened a bit." How can I believe anything else after the way you have treated me?"

Henry's eyes formed tears and they slowly fell down his face," Oh Katherine you will never know how much I regret that now. I never intended for you to become so unwell. I had hoped you would see that our marriage was a sin and agree to the annulment, but never in a million years would I have thought you would die from my decision."

Mary wailed and clung to her mother," Oh mama you cannot die! I love you, you cannot leave me!"

"There, there my love do not fret. You will be alright. You must be strong for me and your father. I know we will be reunited in the next life Mary so do not be so sad," Katherine comforted her daughter.

All three now had tears dripping down their faces. They knew this would be their last goodbye and it was a solemn event.

"Katherine forgive me. I have treated you so terribly and I am ashamed. Oh Katherine you cannot leave me and Mary. We need you. I need you! I cannot bear the thought of you being dead."

Katherine looked up at him. Henry. Her husband. Her sir loyal heart. After all they had been through she could not truly hate him. She knew that e had been influenced by that Anne Boleyn and she could not blamed him. Henry had always been like a child. He was constantly moving onto a new "toy" but he had always returned to her. Until Anne Boleyn. When Henry had first started the affair with Anne, Katherine knew this one was different than the others. Anne was cunning and had a hold over Henry the others didn't have. Soon she had witnessed the change in Henry. He no longer came to her bed chambers like he had done every night since they were married He ignored Katherine and she had known he would ask for an annulment. But she could not give him one. She had to protect her daughter Mary and she did not regret her choice. Mary was the rightful heir. It may have made Henry resent her but she knew in her heart Mary deserved her place.

"Henry I forgive you. I cannot be mad at you. I love you as I always have and I do not wish to leave this world with a grudge against you."

Henry came and took her hand in his. "Thank you Katherine for giving me your forgiveness. I do not deserve it but then you always did have a big heart," he smiled weakly while saying the last part.

" Of course Henry. Mary would you wait outside for a moment I need to speak with your father."

Mary was reluctant to leave but placed a kiss on her mother's head before leaving.

Henry was suddenly weary of what Katherine would say.

Katherine turned to Henry and looked into his eyes," Henry I feel that my time to leave is soon and I must ask a favor before I go."

"Anything Katherine.. What do you need?"

"I want you to promise you will have Mary as your successor. She is the rightful one Henry and you know it. I want to know that my efforts have not been in vain."

Henry was shocked at her request but he did not have the heart to deny her last wish. " Of course Katherine if that would please you it will be so."

Katherine smiled a brilliant smile at him," Thank you Henry you do not know how much that means to me."

Katherine called Mary back in and she took a seat on the side of the bed opposite to Henry. She took her mother's hand and gave her a smile. "How do you feel mama?"

"I could not be happier. I have the two I love the most beside me as I leave this world and return to god. I could not wish for anything more."

They were silent and a few minutes later they watched as Katherine's eyes closed and her breathing evened out before stopping. Mary cried and repeated " Mama! Mama! Come back!" over and over again. Henry cried and kissed Katherine's hand before leading Mary out of the room. He held her as they both wept for the woman they both had loved dearly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Later that evening Henry sat in a chair by his fireplace Anne sleeping in the bed behind him. He had gotten back a few hours ago and had feigned joy that Katherine was dead while inside he was breaking. He remembered when he had first saw Katherine. He was a young boy barely nine and he was struck by her beauty. He remembered the envy he felt that his brother got to marry this beautiful girl. When he had comforted her when Arthur died he marveled at the way she felt in his arms. He remembered what it felt like to fall in love with her and the way he felt when she had admitted she loved him, he had been on top of the world that day. He remembered how determined he had been to marry her. Watching her walk down the aisle toward him feeling like the luckiest person in the world. He remembered the first time he had seen Mary, his pearl. He also remembered the disappointment he felt when they had failed to produce another child. He remembered the guilt he felt when he had began to stray from her and the hurt he saw in her eyes. He remembered the way she had looked when he had begun to chase Anne and he had left her. The worst thing he remembered was how feeble she had looked and the way her usually bright eyes seemed gray and lifeless all because of him. When she died he had felt it in his soul. It was like half of his soul was gone replaced by emptiness.

Now she was dead and he would never touch her again. Or see that gorgeous smile of hers that she reserved only for him. He would never be able to see the way her eyes lit up when she saw him. Never again would he feel the warmth of her love. There were many things he would never get to do again with Katherine. He sat with tears flowing down his face and sobs that shook his body. She was gone from him and he never got to even tell how much she truly meant to him. He had forgotten to cherish her and now he never would be able to.

**please review**


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